I think one of the greatest losses in a Superhero's life is when they break their 'perfect vision' superhero glasses. With these glasses, the Superhero has the ability to see a person however they want to see them, their own expectations of perfect. Now the kicker is that by looking through these 'perfect vision' superhero glasses, the Superhero no longer has the ability to see the reality of the person in question. The reality is blocked from view by the 'perfect vision' superhero glasses. Ok, so maybe it's not one of the greatest losses in a Superhero's life and in fact, probably turns out to be an asset for the Superhero. My 'perfect vision' superhero glasses are broken. I threw them in the dumpster...(singing...I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way)

I still have my Superhero cape and leotards folded neatly on the shelves in my closet, right next to my 'superfast' Chuck Taylor's (black high tops) and my portly ballerina stuffed pig. I know, probably not where my portly ballerina should be displayed. (My tiara is on the shelf below)

I really dislike the way "Wonder Woman's" whole outfit made her tits look, although those pointed appendages could certainly put an eye out which may come in handy if you're battling say.....'THE PENGUIN" (we all know that penguins are evil and short).

I have Superhero powers of deduction. I can arrive to a correct and accurate conclusion by reasoning. These Superhero powers are quite helpful if you're battling say....'AN EVIL OLDER ASIAN WOMAN' (ok maybe not all older asian women are evil, but just in case some are, these Superhero powers are indeed helpful).

My next Superhero power involves being able to read a persons face and body and know 100% if that person is being truthful. I must confess, I did not learn this ability in 'Superhero Academy', it was actually taught while in my human behavior classes in medical school. We were trained to read peoples faces, what muscles were being used, study the muscles controlling the eyelids, notice specifically what they were doing with their hands, what direction they're looking in when they speak, etc etc. I'm quite masterful with this technique and it's very handy if you're battling say......'A LIAR' (and we all know that liars are evil).

I like to eat 'Superhero Spam' at times. Look, it has meat in it which means there is some protein in it which means that a Superhero can use that protein to build muscles which are essential if you're battling say....A RUNAWAY TRAIN OR A REALLY PISSED OFF SPOUSE (ok, runaway trains aren't evil, they've just lost track of the situation but really pissed off spouses are very evil).

I must confess that this one time at band camp...no, I mean at the hospital, I wore Superman's Logo on a t-shirt under my scrubs and as I was running down the hall to catch a baby.....I did raise the scrub shirt and show the nurses the Superman T-Shirt....and wore a big ole shit eatin grin the entire time. I know, hangs my head in shame....but wait (with the same shit eatin grin as before)....what's a little friendly prank between Superhero friends!

There you have it gang.....Confessions of a Superhero. Ok, ok, maybe I'm not REALLY a Superhero or maybe I just said that to make you think that I'm not one when in fact I really am one. The confessions are very real however...

Signing off now and gives the Supersecretsuperhero hand gesture to all the other Superheroes...